$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
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