i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
