So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
