The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
