eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
