the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize