it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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