you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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