just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
