There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
it's like iHOP with fire
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
