we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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