Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
