i permit you to call me
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
