Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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