He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
