What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
