Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
