What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
