I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
