Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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