i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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