i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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