Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
