Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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