I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
