right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
