Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
