Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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