fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
