So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
