stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Couch. On fire.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
