Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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