She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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