...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
