Three words: puerto rican gang bang
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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