But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize