I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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