I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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