I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
