Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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