I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
