Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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