I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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