It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
