May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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