Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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