so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
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