This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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