i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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