she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
