I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
