I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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