She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
