Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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