do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
