Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Actions speak louder than pants.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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