I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
