U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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