I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
