I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize