ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
