dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
