Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
