He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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