We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
