you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
