He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
