I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Drake has all the answers
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
