He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
